Living Word

Happy Hollidays Y'all.

Jonah 2: 1-10 paraphrased

I remember praying to the Lord my God from the belly of my selFISHness, saying,

 “I called to the Lord out of my distress,

   and he answered me;

out of the belly of the refrigerator I cried,

   and you heard my voice.

You cast me into the back,

   into the mass of leftovers,

   and the food surrounded me;

all the syrup and salad

   covered over me.

Then I said, ‘I am driven away

   from your sight;

how shall I look again

   upon your holy temple?’

The Tupperware closed over me;

   the gravy surrounded me;

spaghetti was wrapped around my head

   at the bottom of the bowl.

I went down to the crisper

   whose drawer closed upon me forever;

yet you brought my life up from the Pit,

   O Lord my God.

As my life was ebbing away,

   I remembered the Lord;

and my prayer came to you,

   into your holy temple.

Those who worship vain idols

   forsake their true loyalty.

But I with the voice of thanksgiving

   will sacrifice to you;

what I have vowed I will pay.

   Deliverance belongs to the Lord!” 

Psalm 55:22 paraphrased

Cast your crap upon the Lord,

for he will take it and fertilize the most amazing fruits in your life.