Living Word

Happy Hollidays Y'all.

Jonah 2: 1-10 paraphrased

I remember praying to the Lord my God from the belly of my selFISHness, saying,

 “I called to the Lord out of my distress,

   and he answered me;

out of the belly of the refrigerator I cried,

   and you heard my voice.

You cast me into the back,

   into the mass of leftovers,

   and the food surrounded me;

all the syrup and salad

   covered over me.

Then I said, ‘I am driven away

   from your sight;

how shall I look again

   upon your holy temple?’

The Tupperware closed over me;

   the gravy surrounded me;

spaghetti was wrapped around my head

   at the bottom of the bowl.

I went down to the crisper

   whose drawer closed upon me forever;

yet you brought my life up from the Pit,

   O Lord my God.

As my life was ebbing away,

   I remembered the Lord;

and my prayer came to you,

   into your holy temple.

Those who worship vain idols

   forsake their true loyalty.

But I with the voice of thanksgiving

   will sacrifice to you;

what I have vowed I will pay.

   Deliverance belongs to the Lord!” 

Psalm 55:22 paraphrased

Cast your crap upon the Lord,

for he will take it and fertilize the most amazing fruits in your life.

Thomas a Kempis

This is my favorite prayer from Thomas a Kempis:

O God, most loving Comforter,

I pray that you will always turn what is evil into good,

and what is good into what is better.

Turn my mourning into joy,

my wandering feet into the right path,

my ignorance into knowledge of your truth,

my lukewarmness into zeal,

my fear into love, all my material goods into a spiritual gift,

all my earthly desires into heavenly desires,

all that is transient into what lasts forever,

everything human into what is divine,

everything created and finite into that sovereign and

immeasurable good which you yourself are,

O my God and Savior. Amen